


Contact

by Auggusst



Series: Heart and Mind [13]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alpha James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Arguing, Drama, Emotional Outbursts, Family Drama, M/M, Mating Bond, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Phone Calls & Telephones, Reconciliation, Relationship Discussions, Talking, Tension, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Yelling, best friends argue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:15:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24526741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Auggusst/pseuds/Auggusst
Summary: Rhodey admits that he took the situation between Steve and Tony into his own hands. Tony is naturally more than upset, but finally takes the step in the right direction. For the first time in six months, he and Steve truly speak to each other.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: Heart and Mind [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1670740
Comments: 60
Kudos: 295





	Contact

**Author's Note:**

> BAM I KNOCKED THIS ONE OUT QUICK BROS!!!! I really wanted to get to this. I've been thinking about this part for WEEKS. The first of many phone calls for them. I'm not sure how many of them will be on screen, and I eventually might go back and add some more here and there or something, but yeah. Hope you enjoy the drama!

Tony awoke with a groan to find himself in his bed. It wasn’t dark, and he was still wearing his day clothes, and he didn’t remember laying down for a nap, so something told him he didn’t plan on being here at the moment. Even before opening his eyes he could tell he wasn’t alone in the room though. Pepper and Rhodey were here, that much was clear from their scents, but something was off about the room. Someone else, or lots of somebody elses, had been here too.

He tried to think. What had happened? Oh. That’s right. He had fucking fainted.

“God…” he groaned, opening his eyes and shifting a little on the bed.

“Tony, hey, are you okay?” Pepper’s voice called out somewhere beside him.

He turned to look at her, took in the concern on her face. “Yeah,” he replied. “Yeah, I’m fine. What happened?”

“You passed out,” Rhodey answered on his other side. His brows were pinched and he didn’t entirely look happy. Tony got the odd sense that he was in trouble for something, recognized the annoyance in his eyes like whenever Tony caused trouble at MIT. He tried to ignore it.

“I gathered that much,” Tony replied, brushed a hand over his face. “Did you find out why?”

“The doctor said your blood pressure dropped,” Pepper replied. “And it could happen again. Your Bond Sickness…It’s getting worse, and if we don’t do something about it, you could go into labor early.”

Tony exhaled slowly, tried to take that in. Unfortunately, Pepper kept speaking.

“This early on, for most babies there’s a chance they’ll survive in the NICU, but…” she sighed, brushed a hand through her hair.

She didn’t want to say any of this, wasn’t looking forward to the rest of this conversation in general. Rhodey had called Steve only fifteen or so minutes ago, and the rest of the time was spent here, waiting for Tony to wake up. They’d texted Happy, who was delayed due to traffic, and told him the situation. He didn’t think any of this would blow over well, and stopped to pick up some extra snacks in an effort to placate Tony later. If he showed up a little later than intended, well, neither Pepper nor Rhodey could blame him.

Pepper steeled herself, and delivered the rest of her news.

“Your Bond Sickness is only getting more severe, and at this point, if you go into labor, your baby probably won’t survive.”

That…that wasn’t what Tony was hoping to hear. It was really hard to hear, actually. So that was it, then. He’d fought so long against his body, against his sickness, was determined he was strong enough, that he could manage, and it didn’t seem to matter anyway. Now, he’d reached the limit apparently, couldn’t keep the danger at bay any longer. If his Bond Sickness was getting worse, if it was affecting his child now… He felt like a failure. He couldn’t even do this himself, could he? Couldn’t even handle carrying, a natural function of his body, without Steve. He hated that. He hated it more than he could say. God, he was weak, and stupid, and felt miserable now. He pressed a hand against his belly, could feel his throat tightening with the realization of it all. He was ashamed. What should he do now? What _could_ he do?

He didn’t know what to say.

“I’m so sorry,” Pepper sighed, laying a hand on his arm. “But…we tried to warn you, Tony. We tried to tell you something like this could happen.”

“I know you did,” Tony replied, but it made him frown, bitterly. “I just—I thought I—“

“You thought you could do it alone, like you always want to,” Rhodey supplied, standing at the foot of the bed now.

“I _should_ be able to do it alone,” Tony insisted. “Everyone else can, why can’t I?”

“Because everyone else isn’t suffering Bond Sickness, Tony. Everyone else didn’t go through a hell of a fight, and a situation like you did.” The airman crossed his arms.

Tony didn’t want to hear that, didn’t want to believe it. He was fucking Iron Man. He was a lot stronger than a lot of people, had survived more than a lot of people. He had been so certain he could survive this too, without any help. He had to accept now that that wasn’t the case, and it made him angry, and hurt. Tony frowned, let out a little rumble of a growl, stared down at the bed.

“Tony,” Pepper started. “You know what you have to do.”

Tony shook his head firmly. He didn’t want to consider it, didn’t want to admit that it was time, whether he wanted it to be or not. “No,” he said before he could stop himself. “No, I…”

“ _No_?” Rhodey asked, his disbelief clear. “Even after hearing all that, it’s still gonna be a ‘no?’”

“Look, I-I just can’t, I can’t talk to him, I _won’t_ , I don’t need to—“

“You _do_ need to!” Pepper insisted, her voice raised just a fraction. She was exasperated too now, and kind of nervous honestly. She glanced at Rhodey, could see the irritation in his eyes. They’d hoped briefly that maybe Tony would come to his senses when he found out all the facts, that he would work up the courage to make the right decision, but it seemed that wasn’t the case. Maybe he was too scared, or maybe he just couldn’t think clearly, but that wouldn’t help. He needed to talk to Steve. Things couldn’t go on like this anymore.

Pepper squeezed his arm a little. “Tony this isn’t just about you anymore. You have to think about your child. _Please._ ”

She was begging again, had done so before, but this time, it was different. This time it made Tony’s throat go tight, made his heart beat faster.

“I…I can’t,” he insisted. “You don’t understand. You don’t know how I feel. The shit that happened between us, there’s no coming back from it, trust me.”

“You’re wrong,” Rhodey replied. “You can come back from it, or come to an understanding, at least.”

“How can you be so sure?!” Tony snapped back, frustrated. “I—I’ve shut him out so long, I’ve said some nasty things. I _did_ some nasty things that day. And if—when he finds out about the baby, who knows what he’ll think? It’s been so long, he’ll probably _hate_ me for it, and then we’d just start arguing again and it would just get _worse_ and—“

“He won’t be mad,” Rhodey said. “He _isn’t_ mad.”

Pepper’s eyes drifted to him, then back to Tony. Her mouth was pressed in a thin line.

Tony squinted at Rhodey, confused by the statement. “Wait—Come again?”

Rhodey exhaled slowly, stood a little straighter. His hands were clasped behind his back, his legs parallel with his shoulders. It wasn’t intentional on his part, was merely instinctive. Tony had seen that posture before though, thanks to years working with the military. He’d seen it before in some of Rhodey’s subordinates, when they’d been caught doing something they shouldn’t, and Rhodey spent the next ten minutes reprimanding them at full volume. It was a gesture of submission, of admission of guilt.

He looked at Pepper questioningly, and then his eyes fixed on the flip phone on his nightstand. It was _on his nightstand_ , not securely in his pocket, where he’d had it before he passed out.

Tony’s heart skipped a beat.

“You…you didn’t,” he said, voice low.

Rhodey raised his chin a little, face grim. “I did,” he said. “I called him.”

“You _what_?!” Tony shouted, louder than he intended, louder than they expected. His scent turned from neutral to agitated overwhelmingly quickly.

Pepper flinched a little, at the volume and the smell, and Rhodey’s shoulders tightened up.

Tony—Tony was livid. He was shocked, and angry and afraid. Rhodey had _called_. He had called Steve, presumably while Tony was knocked out, _without his permission_. He’d done the one thing Tony was trying to avoid all these months, had vehemently been against. Rhodey had gone and done it anyway without even talking to him first. Not that Tony would have agreed, but whatever. God, what did he say? What did he do? What did Steve say? He knew about everything now? He knew about the baby, about Tony’s sickness, about everything that had happened since they split apart? Tony felt nauseous. He couldn’t believe it all, didn’t know how to take it. His hands were shaking a little, and he balled them into fists.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” he spouted out before he could stop himself. “Oh my _god_ Rhodey! I fucking told you not to!”

“You didn’t leave me a choice!” Rhodey replied. “You didn’t leave any of us a choice! Tony, you could fucking die!”

“It wasn’t your choice to make!” Tony said, and he could feel his anger rising, could feel the Alpha in him clawing its way to the surface. “It wasn’t—he’s _my mate!_ If I don’t want to talk to him, that’s my fucking choice!”

“That’s a bullshit excuse!” Rhodey snapped, raising an index finger. He leaned forward a little, could feel Tony’s irritation, the low edge of hostility to his scent, which Rhodey hadn’t had directed at himself in _years._ It didn’t matter. Rhodey was bigger, and whether Tony liked it or not, stronger, and if this turned into a threat display, he would win.

“You’re just afraid! You’re afraid of working it out, of talking about it all like rational adults but it doesn’t fucking matter! This isn’t a goddamn joke anymore, Tony!”

“How _dare_ you! How dare you call me a fucking coward! I thought you were my friend!” Tony surged forward angrily, a bit of a growl in his throat, and Pepper held him back by the shoulders, fought the urge to recoil. It was clear he was riled up; she didn’t want it escalating any more. She knew Rhodey would never hurt Tony, but the brunet clearly wasn’t thinking clearly now. She didn’t want him hurting _himself_.

“Tony, calm down—“

“No!” he insisted, and fought her grasp. “You’re just as bad as he is! I trusted you!” He could feel the tears coming, angry tears this time, and his breath hitched.

“Tony, we’re doing this _for you_! We’re doing it _because_ we’re your friends!” she replied, a little hurt at his words.

Rhodey slipped into his Alpha voice then, rarely used in any situation, and certainly not towards Tony, but it was the only option he had left. He stood at his full height, stared down his best friend, and spoke. “Friends are there for you no matter what, but they also have the courage to make the right goddamn decision! You can’t keep going on like this. I already took the first step for you, and you can be angry at me all you want, but you pick up that _goddamn phone_ and you call him! Do you hear me, Tony Stark? _You fucking call him_!”

His voice echoed a little in the room, and everyone was silent. Tony’s heart was beating fast, and Pepper was breathing heavily at his side, her arms still holding him back. Her eyes were wide.

Rhodey had never talked to Tony like that before. He’d come close, a few times over the years, but never _like that_ , never so commanding, and never enough to put that uncomfortable pit in his stomach, the instinctive revulsion that came with admitting submission as an Alpha. If it were anyone else, Tony would have fought it, would’ve raised his voice again to match, would have bared his teeth, but this was Rhodey, his Rhodey, his best friend, and he just… he couldn’t do it.

Tony’s teeth were grit tight enough to hurt, and he lowered his eyes to the edge of the bed. They were already swimming with tears. His throat felt tight, and his heart hurt. He felt betrayed, felt trapped, honestly, and deep down he knew Rhodey was right, knew that this was for the best, but it still hurt. It still stung. So much of Tony’s life direction was out of his hands, out of his control, and now this was too. He had hoped he could handle it all for once, but apparently that wasn’t the case. He really didn’t want to start sobbing in front of them, but it seemed he couldn’t help it. Fresh tears fell from his eyes, hot on his skin, and he couldn’t hold on anymore, and let out heaving sobs, his hands bunched up into fists on his lap.

Seeing him like that made Pepper’s heart clench. She always knew it would be tough to finally get through to him, but it seemed they were finally at that point. “Tony,” she sighed softly, laying a hand on his shoulder. “You have to call. You have to.”

Rhodey swallowed hard at the foot of the bed. He hated that it had come to this, that it needed to be this way. It made him feel horrible, but it was his job, his duty to do what was best for Tony, and he’d done it. “Please,” he said. “I know you’re angry with me, and that’s okay, but _please_ call him. He wants to talk to you. He wants to help. We just want you to be okay, Tony.”

Tony squeezed his eyes shut, let out a few sharp breaths, trying to get his crying back under control. “Get out,” he said. “Both of you—I need some fucking space.”

Pepper hesitated, but withdrew her hand and stood. She stepped away from the bed, glanced at Rhodey.

Rhodey licked his lips. “Are you going to c—“

“Yes I’m going to fucking call!” Tony yelled back, so loud and sudden that his voice cracked. He heaved a sigh, put his head in his hands. He was getting a fucking headache now, on top of everything. Great.

That was it, then. Tony was angry, and hurt, but he would finally do as he was told. Rhodey had known he would need space after all of this, that he may be getting the silent treatment for a while, but it was all worth it, or would be, to know his health would improve, or at the least, stop declining. Tony had been pushed to his limit, and he’d need time to gather his bearings.

Rhodey didn’t dare say anymore for the moment, and instead nodded curtly, and left the room. Pepper took one last look at Tony, the unhappy slump of his shoulders, the way he was averting his eyes, and followed Rhodey, gently closing the bedroom door behind her.

Tony exhaled slowly once alone. He couldn’t believe all of this. He couldn’t believe this had happened, that they had truly taken matters into their own hands despite his wishes and called Steve.

God, Steve really knew everything now didn’t he? How much did he know, though? How much had Rhodey said? He knew about the baby, probably. Tony doubted Rhodey would leave that vital point out. It was for the sake of the baby, really, that they’d tried to convince Tony to call. Without his child, without this responsibility, Tony wondered what he would have done. He wondered if he would’ve succumb to Bond Sickness too, or if he’d have made the decision to _break_ their bond. He wondered if he would’ve tracked Steve down and beat the hell out of him for leaving. None of those ideas mattered though, because they weren’t his reality. The reality was that he was sick, and he had to call Steve now, because they were having a baby, and no matter how hard Tony fought, it evidently wouldn’t be enough anymore.

The baby in question gave a sudden flurry of little kicks, probably agitated by all the commotion, all the shouting. Tony winced—the sudden movements still made him nauseous sometimes. He frowned a little. _‘Even my baby’s out to get me,’_ he thought idly.

“God…” he sighed, and let himself fall back against the pillows, stare up at the ceiling. He set a hand on the underside of his baby bump, rubbed his stomach. His back was aching a little, and he kind of had to pee, but that could wait until later. “You’re in for a world of trouble, you know that?” he asked his child, closing his eyes. “It’s not all fun and games out here.”

His reply came in the form of another bout of movement. Tony scoffed a little. He brought up a hand, wiped his drying tears. He didn’t know what to do. He was ashamed, of how he’d blown up, how he’d yelled at his friends. He knew they were only trying to help, he knew they only wanted what was best for him. It was just hard to come to terms with it, to finally go down that path. It’d been six months since he’d truly spoken to Steve, more than a handful of words, and so much had changed, so much had gone wrong. He was terrified of the forthcoming conversation, of what it all could bring. Would it even really help? Would it stop his sickness from getting worse? He wasn’t sure.

He still remembered the fight in Siberia. Sometimes his chest still ached, from where he’d been hit, where his lungs were bruised. Sometimes it frightened him, the memory of it all, the anger on Steve’s face as he slammed the shield down into his suit. He still remembered how it felt the instant Steve had admitted his knowledge, and the secret he’d held on to. It still made Tony angry, still filled his heart with so much pain he couldn’t breathe on occasion. He wasn’t sure if that pain would ever go away, if he could ever feel the way he felt about Steve before it all happened, and that was terrifying. What did the future look like? How would it all go on? He wasn’t sure. Today, he would have to find out, unfortunately. He doubted his friends would let him get off without calling today, no matter how long it took for him, laying here in bed, to work up the courage.

Tony cracked open an eye, turned to look at the nightstand. Even looking at the phone now made him frown. He didn’t want to do this, he really, really didn’t. But he didn’t have a choice. He never had a choice really, had just deluded himself into thinking he had one. He hated that.

 _‘Just call him,’_ he told himself. _‘You still love him, don’t you?’_

Did he? Of course he did. Whether that love was strong enough to survive all of the bullshit that had happened, and the surely unpleasant conversation he was about to have, was another question entirely.

Tony groaned in frustration. “Fuck!” he grit out. “God dammit. God fucking dammit.”

He had to do it now, or he’d be stuck in here all day trying to work up the courage. Tony slowly sat up, scooted over on the bed a bit so he could reach the flip phone. He closed a hand around it, and sat back against the headboard. Tony flipped open the phone. A quick look at the call log indicated that yup, Rhodey really had called Steve, and he’d done it not too long ago. Seeing the proof only made Tony more afraid. He really had to do this, really didn’t have another choice. He’d avoided it so long, but now he couldn’t anymore. With his heart in his throat, the brunet took a deep breath to calm himself, and hit the call button, held the phone up to his ear.

He waited.

Someone picked up.

“ _Tony?_ ”

Just the sound of his voice made Tony’s breath hitch, made something tight in his chest that he’d carried so long he didn’t even notice it anymore loosen up just the tiniest fraction. He tried to remember how to speak.

“Steve…” His voice came out soft, almost a whisper.

“ _Tony? Oh, my god. Are—are you okay?_ ”

“I…I’m fine,” Tony sighed, brushing a hand over his face.

“ _Rhodey said you—you were sick, and the baby could—_ “

“It’s fine. We’re uh…That’s why I’m calling you. It’ll help, apparently,” he replied, though he frowned as he said it. He wasn’t sure if it would help at all.

There was a pause. Steve let out a little sigh on the other end of the line. His voice was a little different, Tony thought. It was more exhausted, not as strong and clear as he remembered. Maybe Steve was feeling sick too, despite the serum. Maybe the Bond Sickness had fucked him up too. Tony didn’t know if that made him feel better or worse.

“ _Tony I’m so sorry. I’m so goddamn sorry for everything. If I had known you were carrying—_ “

“You what?” Tony interrupted, annoyed. “You wouldn’t have left? It would’ve taken me being knocked up to keep you here?” he asked angrily.

“ _What? N-no, that’s not what I mea—_ “

“Well that’s what it sounds like, Steve! I _begged_ you to think it all through, to stop what you were doing, but you didn’t listen! And then I came after you to try and help, and you—you just—“

“ _I’m sorry!_ ” Steve replied, and his voice was pleading. “ _I fucked up. I messed up so bad, and I know that. Leaving you was the biggest mistake I ever made._ ”

Tony exhaled slowly, put a hand over his eyes. Steve admitting he made a mistake was kind of delicious, because he had always been stubborn before, never admitted his faults, but it didn’t make Tony feel any better. “What the hell does it matter if you’re sorry?” he asked. “You did it, and you can’t take it back.”

“ _I…I know I can’t take it back_ ,” Steve started. “ _I know that. And I know I don’t deserve to be in the same room as you ever again, but…Please. Tell me how I can earn your forgiveness._ ”

“Earn my forg—? You’re not getting it, Steve! That’s not gonna fix anything! You’re a fucking fugitive, and I’m being watched, and even if— _if_ I forgave you, we can’t see each other again! You ruined any chance of that, any chance of a future together!”

“ _I’ll come back_!” Steve said. “ _I’ll come back, I’ll turn myself in and take any consequences they—_ “

Tony sat up straight, held up an index finger, even though Steve couldn’t see it. “No you won’t,” he replied. “No you fucking won’t. Don’t you dare try to come back here, you hear me? You have no idea what they’ll do to you.”

“ _I can handle it,_ ” Steve insisted. “ _I deserve it, for everything that’s happened. And if at the end of it I get to see you again, to be there for our child like I should, it’ll be worth it._ ”

The brunet sighed in exasperation. “You’re such an idiot. You’re always playing the martyr, you know that? Always ‘sacrificing’ yourself for the greater good, even if you tear the whole world down along the way. You might be able to handle whatever they do to you, but the others? Can they, Steve? Ross won’t be satisfied with just you, he’s made that abundantly clear. You have _no idea_ the lengths I’ve gone to keep him off of your fucking backs when you’re running around making messes. You have _no idea_ the kind of pressure I’m under! And if you came back, they’d know we talked, and I’d be implicated too!”

Steve seemed at a loss for words for a second. He probably hadn’t considered all of that. _‘Typical,’_ Tony thought. _‘Always ahead of himself. He never thinks things through.’_

“ _I’m…I’m sure they wouldn’t do anything to you, not while you’re carrying_ ,” he replied.

“You so sure about that?” Tony asked. “I’ve already been threatened once, Steve. If they knew about the phone, about the fact that we’re even having this conversation…”

“ _They_ threatened _you?_ ” Steve asked. “ _What the hell did they—_ “

Tony stared down at his bed angrily. The memory of that day, off all that was said and done between then and now pissed him off. “Ross had a plan to use me, use the baby as bait to get you to turn yourself in. I told him to forget it, and he left a lot unspoken, but I got the gist of it. If they find out what I’ve been doing _for you_ all this time, who knows what they’ll do?”

“ _I’m gonna kill him_ ,” Steve growled out, and it made Tony’s heart skip a beat. It was a protective growl, one in his favor, but it still put him on edge. The last time he’d heard Steve growl, he was being pinned to the floor and getting the shit beat out of him.

“Stop it,” Tony said, and it came out a little breathless. “You’re not killing anybody. You’re not gonna do anything. You’re gonna pretend like this call didn’t even happen.”

“ _Tony I can’t just sit back and leave you to fend for yourself anymore than I already have. You and the baby—_ “

“Aren’t defenseless. Did you forget who I am? I’m fucking Iron Man. You certainly didn’t have any qualms about leaving me to fend for myself in Siberia. Don’t start feeling bad about yourself just because you knocked me up.” Maybe the words were sort of harsh, but Tony didn’t care at the moment. He was angry and hurt, and even though hearing Steve’s voice quenched a fraction of the burning fire on his neck, his instincts couldn’t reconcile his feelings, the pain he still felt at all that had happened.

It was Steve’s turn to get upset apparently, because he exhaled sharply. “ _Tony I’ve spent every goddamn day since leaving regretting my actions, thinking I’ve done everything wrong, thinking I never deserved you in the first place. Maybe I didn’t, maybe I still don’t, but don’t you_ dare _say that I didn’t care, that I don’t care about you! I loved you more than anyone else, I still do! You’re_ my mate _!”_

Tony laughed a little, but it was a desperate sort of laugh, the kind he gave the day he found out he was pregnant. “That didn’t stop you from leaving! I loved you too! I trusted you, Steve! And you let me down. You let _us_ down.”

“ _Please_ ,” Steve replied, and the desperation was clear in his tone. “ _Please, I know I made mistakes, I know I can’t change them, but please don’t keep shutting me out. I can’t…I-I’m not strong enough to be without you._ ” He sounded broken, really, like a broken man.

Tony squeezed his eyes shut, his heart clenching. He wondered suddenly how bad Steve was really doing, if he felt as bad as Tony did, if things were just as hard, if not harder, for him. He wondered if Steve spent hours at night staring at the ceiling, wishing things were different, wishing they were together and that none of it had ever happened. But what did it matter? They couldn’t be together now. Talking on the phone wouldn’t change anything, wouldn’t bring them together again. Tony swallowed hard.

“But you are without me, Steve. We’re apart because of the choice _you_ made. I—I wanted you here. I wanted you to come back, that day, but you didn’t. You didn’t come back, and now it’s too late. Now we’re both sick, and I’m pregnant, and it’ll just be me and my little boy, _alone_. I have Rhodey and Pep of course, but—“

“ _Boy_?” Steve asked quietly. “ _It’s—you’re having a boy?”_

Oh. Steve didn’t even know yet. “Yeah,” Tony replied. “Yeah I am.” Despite himself, he smiled.

“ _That’s amazing,_ ” the blond said. He let out a breathless little laugh. “ _You’re—we’re really having a baby. God, that’s so incredible. I can barely believe it._ ”

“It kind of is,” Tony agreed. For a second, he could forget about all of the nonsense, and the horrible situation they were in. For a second he got lost in the joy of it, in pretending that things were okay, and that he was sharing the news with Steve under better circumstances. “29 weeks and counting. He moves around a lot. He’s annoyingly strong, considering it’s only been 7 months.”

Steve laughed a little. “ _Well he does have a hell of a gene pool._ ”

“I hope you’re not taking all the credit,” Tony replied, kind of indignantly, but there was a hint of playfulness in the statement too, that came a lot easier than he thought it would, despite his anger. “I’m the one doing all the work here.”

“ _No, I didn’t mean that—I’m sorry,_ ” Steve replied. “ _I’m just…excited._ ”

Tony hummed a little in reply. That was fair. He was excited too after all.

“ _Will…will you let me see a picture? I know I’ve no right to ask, but…_ ”

Tony sighed. Part of him wanted to shut Steve out, to keep punishing him for his actions, but he remembered why he was calling in the first place. They were trying to reconcile, to get past all of the hostility, for the sake of his baby. Besides, in a better world, Steve _would_ have been here. If things had ended up differently, they would be here together, would be preparing together for their little bundle of joy. It wasn’t fair to keep everything about the baby to himself, now that he and Steve were pretty much forced to communicate anyway.

“I…I will,” he said. “I’ll send you something.”

Steve did his best to suppress his relieved sigh, but Tony heard it anyway. He had another question though, and the hesitation in his tone was clear. “ _And—and you’re both okay? I didn’t—I didn’t hurt him that day?_ ”

Tony frowned. He remembered the photo he’d sent Steve, of his bruises. He hadn’t spoken of his injuries though, had never given Steve the whole of it. “He was the size of a blueberry, Steve. You didn’t hurt him. I survived too, thanks for asking,” he replied venomously, annoyed that he had somehow been left out of the equation.

Steve was silent for a moment, and Tony could imagine him flinching. He thought he heard a sniffle then, and the thought that he had driven Steve to tears made his throat tight. Steve wasn’t much of a crier, not like Tony was. If he was crying now, then maybe he really did feel as bad as he said. “ _I can’t begin to tell you how sorry I am. I wish I’d have listened. I wish I had done it all differently._ ”

“Me too,” Tony replied. “I wish that too.”

But wishing wouldn’t get them anywhere, and both knew it. There was a heavy silence, and Tony’s eyes were welling up with tears again. He let out a shaky breath.

“ _Tony…_ ” Steve’s voice was soft, like it was whenever they were in bed at night, talking about the world or god knows what, the way Tony had _wanted_ to hear it for so long, and it was too much. He didn’t want Steve to hear him cry now, didn’t want to keep this conversation going. This was all going too fast for him, just making him more conflicted, more overwhelmed. He needed more time to come to terms with it all. The brunet wiped his eyes.

“I-I’ve gotta go,” Tony replied. “I’m hungry, and I have to pee, and—and Happy’s on his way.”

“ _Okay_ ,” Steve conceded, though he didn’t sound happy about it. “ _Okay I—Will you talk to me again? Later, o-or tomorrow or—_ “

Tony’s heart beat furiously at the question. “I—I will. I don’t know when, but I will,” he said slowly. He didn’t have much of a choice, after all. He tried not to be bitter about that fact any more than he already was.

Steve was satisfied with that. He would have to be. Tony didn’t have much else to offer for now, _wouldn’t_ offer anything else. “ _Okay. Call me whenever. O-or text. Whatever you want,_ ” he said.

“Okay,” Tony replied.

“ _Okay_ ,” Steve echoed. There was another pause, and Tony could sense his hesitation. “ _…I love you, Tony._ ”

Tony couldn’t deny the tiny bit of warmth that seeped into his chest at hearing that. “…I love you too,” he said softly, almost whispered it. He inhaled and exhaled slowly, couldn’t believe that he had actually said it after so long. He couldn’t handle anymore of this. He needed some time to himself. Tony cleared his throat. “Bye,” he said simply.

He didn’t wait to hear Steve’s goodbye before snapping the phone closed.

His head fell back against the headboard, and he shut his eyes. That had certainly been something. Tony didn’t know how to feel. He was still upset, at Rhodey and Pepper and naturally Steve, and he was still afraid of it all, but at least Steve wasn’t angry with _him_ , or if he was, he didn’t show it. He didn’t seem mad about the baby either, which definitely dropped one of the numerous weights on Tony’s shoulders. Steve’s voice was still ringing in his ears, left him a combination of restless and somehow a little pleased, despite how upset he still was, how upset he most likely _would_ _be_ for a long time coming.

Tony didn’t know what to feel or think anymore. The only thing he knew for sure was, things had just changed. Whether they had changed for the better or worse, only time could tell. It was all so insane. If Tony had told himself from ten years ago that this was where he’d end up, pregnant, separated from his mate, _having_ a bond mate in the first place, and trying desperately to keep it all together, he would’ve thought he was crazy.

The brunet brushed a hand through his hair, let it fall back against the bed. _‘How did I end up here?’_ he wondered. He couldn’t give himself an answer.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave your thoughts!! I def wanna talk about this part hehe. Especially since it may or may not be a bit til I get the next one out? We'll see how the writing mood strikes me. Some other fics may get my attention.
> 
> PS: BLM <3 <3 <3 Stay strong, everyone.


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